The child is crying in the garden: what to do? Komorowski: adaptation of the child in kindergarten. The advice of a psychologist

Not only have some of children the first visit to kindergarten without tears. But if some adaptation to children's preschool institution is completely and literally in a week or two the child safely stays on daytime sleep, the other the process is delayed for a long time, and constant crying is interspersed with endless diseases. Why the child is crying in kindergarten? What to do? Komorowski E. O. - pediatrician, author of popular books and television programs about children's health - gives a detailed explanation of how to solve these problems without compromising the child and family. Read more about this in our article.

Why the child does not want to go into the garden

Most children begin to attend kindergarten at the age of two or three years. The period of adaptation to the garden, often accompanied by crying or tantrums. Here you need to understand why the child does not want to go into the garden and help him to overcome this barrier.

The main reason for negative attitude to the kindergarten, the child associated with separation from parents. It turns out that before three years the baby was inextricably linked with her mother and suddenly he was left in an unfamiliar environment surrounded by strangers. At the same time from him and demand that he ate and performed a series of actions that he is under stress to do that and I can't. His familiar world, familiar from childhood, turns, and tears in this case are inevitable.

So, we can distinguish six main reasons why a child doesn't want to go to kindergarten,

1. He is not willing to part with my mom (the overprotective).
2. Afraid that it will not take away from the garden.
3. Feel the fear team and the new institution.
4. Afraid of the teacher.
5. It hurt in the garden.
6. In the garden the baby feels alone.

Another thing that children, like adults, are also different and do not react to the same situation. Someone who can adapt quickly to a new team, and someone can't join him, even through the years of dialogue. In this situation, parents need to prepare in advance the child for separation that tears at parting not resulted in a tantrum for a few hours.

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What to do if the child is crying in kindergarten?

All causes of crying in children during the period of adaptation to kindergarten is considered quite normal. Mostly in the first hour the children calm down, the Task of parents to help your child learn to cope with emotions and try to find out from him why the baby is crying in the garden.

What to do, Komorowski explained as follows:

1. To minimize stress, getting used to the kindergarten should be gradual. The worst scenario is when the mother in the morning, takes the kid to daycare and leaves him there crying for the whole day and she happily goes to work. To do so is strongly not recommended. Competent and correct adaptation suggests that the time spent in the garden should be increased gradually: first 2 hours, then an afternoon NAP, then to dinner. Moreover, each subsequent phase must begin only after successful overcoming of the previous one. If the child is in the garden, not eat Breakfast, then leave it until the afternoon sleep is unwise.
2. To Expand the circle of communication. It is advisable to start with the children attending this group, before entering kindergarten. So the child will appear first friends, and psychologically it becomes easier for him in the garden, knowing that Mary or van too it go. Vnesudebnoe communication is also a great exercise for the immune system.
3. Talk to the child. Important: every day be sure to ask the kid how his day was, what new things he learned today, what they ate, etc. This will allow faster to cope with the psychological stress. Definitely need to praise the kid for his first achievements. If the child is still not talking, be interested in his advances, the caregiver, and the baby is just praise for them.

These simple steps are actually effective and will definitely help to cope with tears in kindergarten.

Is it Worth to take to kindergarten if the child is crying?

From the point of view of sociology, psychology and pedagogy, kindergarten is regarded as a positive factor conducive to proper child development and upbringing. Corporate life teaches the child to communicate with peers and adults, thereby over time, it will be easier to learn in school and build relationships with management and colleagues.

The Timely preparation of the child for kindergarten begins months prior to the scheduled event, but even in this case, possible problems with the adaptation. Easier to a new team used the children with a high degree of adaptation that a change of scenery does not cause much discomfort. Harder have kids with a low degree of adaptation. They often used such terms as "not a kindergarten child." Hundred do the parents of these children? Is it worth it to drive a child to kindergarten if he is crying?

The Answer to the last question parents should give to themselves. An important role is played by how often the baby is sick. Usually in children with low adaptation is sharply reduced immunity, so theymore susceptible to various diseases. If mom can afford to sit at home with the child, then it may well to make such a decision. But it is worth considering that, as a rule, such children find it hard getting used to not only garden, but also to the staff at the school.

Adaptation of the child in kindergarten: psychological advice

The Theme of adaptation of children to kindergarten is considered to be very common among psychologists. This issue is really very serious, because it depends on the subsequent relationship of the child to the school.

What should be the adaptation of the child in kindergarten? The advice of a psychologist are reduced to the following set of recommendations:

1. The Optimum age for the first visit to kindergarten - 2 to 3 years. To get acquainted with a new team before come well-known "crisis of three years".
2. You can Not blame a child because he is crying in the garden and do not wish to visit it. The kid just expresses his emotions, and punishing, the mother develops in him a sense of guilt.
3. Try before kindergarten to come to him on the tour, meet group, with children, with a teacher.
4. Play with a child in kindergarten. Let the dolls will teachers, and children in kindergarten. Show your child by example how it can be fun and entertaining in it.
5. Adaptation of the child in the garden may be more successful if you take baby will be another member of your family, e.g. dad or grandma is the one to whom he is emotionally less attached.

Try to do everything possible to addictive passed as gently as possible for the baby and did not violate his fragile child's psyche.

Preparing children for kindergarten

According to Dr. Komarovsky, a change familiar to the child situation almost always causes him stress. To avoid this, it is necessary to observe some simple rules that will prepare the child for life in the team.

Preparing a child for kindergarten consists of several stages:

1. The Period of psychological adaptation. To prepare for going to kindergarten should begin around 3-4 months before the scheduled date. In a playful way the child needs to explain what a kindergarten, why go there, it is there to do. At this stage it is important to interest the child, to point out to him the advantages of a visit to the garden, to tell how lucky he is that he goes to this establishment, because many parents want to give there children, but I chose him because he was the most.
2. Preparation of immunity. In the summer try to have a good rest, give your child more fresh fruits and vegetables, and at least a month before kindergarten it is advisable to drink a course of vitamins for children attending kindergarten. It will not protect the baby from infection during the acute respiratory diseases, but proceed they will be much easier without the complications of other organs and systems. At the beginning of the disease, as soon as the child will feel unwell, you should pick him kindergarten and begin treatment, because even the adapted child might start to cry.
3. Adherence. Regardless, send the child to kindergarten or going, it is important to adhere to a regime of sleep and rest, as in the garden. In this case, the baby getting into new conditions, will feel psychologically comfortable bole.
4. Tell your child that in the garden he will always come to the aid of educators. For example, if he wants to drink, it is enough to ask of a caregiver.

And most importantly, never need to scare your child about the kindergarten.

First day of kindergarten

This is the most difficult day in the life of the mother and baby. The first day in kindergarten - a worrying and exciting time, which often depends on how easy or difficult will adapt.

To Turn the first kindergarten in the festival will help the following guidelines:

1. To morning rise did not become for the child an unpleasant surprise in advance, prepare him for the fact that tomorrow he goes to kindergarten.
2. In the Evening, prepare clothes and toys that the toddler may wish to take with you.
3. It is Better to go to bed on time in the morning to feel more awake.
4. In the Morning to act calm, as if nothing exciting happens. The child should not see your feelings.
5. In the kindergarten child needs help to undress and to bring it to the teacher. No need to sneak away as soon as the kid turns away. Mom has to explain to the child that she goes to work and say that she is over him will come back. And it's not due to the fact that the child is crying in kindergarten. What Komarovsky explains that the child is important to know that it will take as soon as he has his Breakfast or play.
6. Do Not leave your child on the first day more than 2 hours.

What should the caregiver, if the child is crying in the garden?

A Lot of adaptation of children to kindergarten depends on the caregiver. It needs in some measure to be a psychologist who knows firsthand the problems of children in kindergarten. During adaptation the teacher has direct contact with parents. If the child is crying, he needs to try to calm the baby. But if the child does not go to the contact, stubborn and starts to cry even louder the next time he should ask my mom howto influence it. Maybe the kid has some favorite games that will distract him from crying.

It is Important that the caregiver in the garden did not press on the child and not blackmailed him. This is unacceptable. To threaten that nobody is coming mom, just because you didn't eat porridge in the first place is inhumane. The caregiver needs to become the child's friend, and then the baby will go to kindergarten with pleasure.

A Child is crying on the way to the garden

Typical for many families is when the child begins to cry now home and continues to do so on the way to kindergarten. Not all parents can safely withstand such behavior on the street and starts a showdown, which often ends in Grand hysteria.

The Reasons why the child is crying, does not want in the garden and throwing tantrums on the way:

• Baby is just not getting enough sleep and rises from the bed without mood. In this case, try to go to bed early.
• Allot sufficient time to morning awakening. You don't get out of bed to get dressed and go to kindergarten. Let the kid 10-15 minutes lie in bed, watch cartoons, etc.
• Prepare a small gift for children or teacher. You can buy little candy, that child will be distributed to children after Breakfast, cookies, coloring sheets, printed on your home printer. Talk about the fact that he is not just in kindergarten, and it will be a wizard and will bring gifts to children.

What to do to stop the baby crying in the garden?

What parents can do to stop the baby crying in kindergarten:

• To conduct psychological preparation of the baby for 3-4 months prior to the visit;
• Often tell the kid about the benefits of the garden, for example, many babies like to hear that they have become adults;
• First day of preschool do not leave it more than 2 hours;
• Allow to bring a toy from home (not too expensive);
• Clearly specify the time frame when his mother is taken away, such as after Breakfast, after lunch or after a walk;
• Communicate with your child and Ask him about the day every time;
• Don't be nervous and don't show this to a child, no matter how hard you may be.

Common mistakes parents

Most parents allow the following error in the child's adaptation to kindergarten:

1. Stop the adaption immediately, if the child did not cry the first day of kindergarten. The kid is quite good can transfer lump sum separation from the mother, but not rare are situations when on the third day in the kindergarten the child is crying due to the fact that he immediately left for the day.
2. Sudden leave without saying goodbye. In a child it can cause a lot of stress.
3. Blackmail the child's kindergarten.
4. Some parents manipulated the baby crying in the garden. What Komarovsky explains that to give in to children's whims or tantrums are not worth it. What you allow baby to stay at home today he's not going to stop tomorrow or the day after.

If parents see that the child is difficult to adapt to kindergarten, and they don't know how to help the kid, they should go to a psychologist. Advice for parents in kindergarten will help to develop a set of actions through which the baby will gradually get used to life in the team. However, all of this will be effective only if the parents are interested and configured to drive the child in kindergarten and will not to shirk the advice of a psychologist.