How to communicate and work with difficult children?

Many teenagers during periods of rebellion and youthful maximalism are called difficult children. This term is not quite correct, because teenagers often have such difficult behavior of a temporary nature, everything is explained by the riot of hormones that force young people to react very sharply to the surrounding reality. However, if there is a difficult child in the family, this manifests itself much earlier. Problems with the upbringing of such children become urgent at a very early age. How to live with a difficult child without harming someone's psyche?

First let's define the terminology. Toddlers and older children, whose personality, according to experts, needs correction, are called difficult children in psychology. This is by no means a diagnosis or a verdict. Such a definition should be considered as a personal feature, especially since the manifestations of "difficulty" can be very different. In some children, it results in excessive anxiety and aggressiveness. Others develop a strategy of disobedience to spite their parents. In the third, it can be expressed at all in destructive behavior, and often completely unconscious.

Why?

The reason for this peculiarity of the child's personality lies, unfortunately, in the family itself, where he grows up. That is why people from orphanages are often called difficult children. After all, the environment in which they grow contributes to the incorrect formation of the psyche, habits and behavior. However, sometimes such a child can grow up in a full, prosperous-looking family. The reason why children become "difficult" is the microclimate. It is possible that quarrels between parents, physical abuse, and a tense atmosphere are practiced in the family. Or, perhaps, the desires and needs of the child for some reason remain unheard by his father and mother.

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Then "difficult" behavior is a way to attract attention. And a very small percentage of children are considered such because of congenital or acquired problems with the nervous system. However, even with such a personality trait, a baby can grow up to be a developed and integrated person in society.

What is the work with difficult children on the part of parents?

First, if you want to change the status quo, start by finding the cause and eliminating it, or at least with mitigation. As soon as the child ceases to be under constant pressure due to conflicts in the family, he will be able to reconsider his behavior and learn to behave correctly on his own. Secondly, do not scold children. Don't make too many prohibitions. The strategy of connivance towards the child bears fruit if everything is within reason. That is, actions that knowingly lead to danger to the life and health of the child should be limited.

However, not a simple ban, but a detailed and calm explanation of why it is not worth doing so. And leave disobedience and whims as they are. At first, the child will be surprised at such permission to do everything. And then, when he gets used to the fact that he is not restricted by prohibitions, firstly, those actions that are performed in spite of parental requirements will disappear, and secondly, it will be possible to proceed to the second step of education.

Next stage

The second step is communication with difficult children. That is, you need to talk to any child. And difficult children require a lot more communication. They need to pronounce every situation in which they behaved incorrectly. And at the same time, you need to talk about it in such a way that you do not slip into accusing the baby of what he did. It is necessary to talk about the consequences of his act and its negative impact on the world around him. Then the child will be able to understand that his actions have caused someone or something pain, trouble and inconvenience, but will not earn a guilt complex. Well, the most important thing you need when dealing with difficult children is patience and boundless love on the part of parents.