How to communicate with a child? Gippenreiter Yu.B., professor of psychology at Moscow State University, talks about this in his book

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2022-09-15 11:10:20

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how to communicate with a child hippenreiterHow to communicate with a child, Yu.B. Gippenreiter reveals on the pages of his book, which has gained popularity among parents all over the world.

The main thing in communicating with a child is unconditional acceptance and unconditional, unappreciated love. It is unconditional, i.e. "just like that", exactly as it is and only for what it is. To learn to communicate precisely from the point of view of a loving and accepting parent, and not an indignant and complaining one, to help find a solution to the problem without putting pressure on the child, to teach to bear some responsibility for the consequences of such offers Yu. Gippenreiter.

julia gippenreiter communicate with rbankAccording to the author, expressing dissatisfaction with any actions of the child, it is possible to discuss and criticize only actions and actions, as well as their consequences, but in no case the child himself. And be sure to focus on the fact that his action upset you, but it did not affect your attitude towards the child, but only upset you greatly. I.e., even condemning the actions of the child, we let him know that he is still important and valuable to us, says Julia Gippenreiter. Communicate with the child should be constantly, discuss everything that interests him, talk about any topic, openly and confidentially. However, not only the child, but also the parent is not always ready for this.

Listen to hear

So how to communicate with a child? Gippenreiter Yu.B. he advises you to master the technique of "active listening", which allows you to establish contact with the interlocutor and show that his problems are close to you, that you understand him and empathize with him. It is described in detail in the book by Y. Gippenreiter "To communicate with a child. How?" According to the author, building the right dialogue and setting up a child to communicate are the first steps to solving the problem.

Another technique that allows you to decide how to communicate with a child, Yu.B. Gippenreiter calls the method of "I - messages". With its help, you can express your attitude, namely your feelings about the current conflict situation, without evaluating the actions of the interlocutor. An example of "I am a message" is the phrase "I was very upset because of today's quarrel" instead of "You are a message" "You behaved disgustingly, and I was upset." "I am messages", according to the author, do not accuse, but only express your attitude to what happened, which is important in communicating with any person, and even more so with a child, a teenager. Thanks to this method of communication, the child's self-esteem does not suffer, his self-esteem is not hurt and there is no defensive negative reaction.

Theory and practice

gippenreiter communicate with a child asAnd how to motivate a child to do something, overcome resistance without breaking it and without crushing it with parental authority, how to find a common language with a "difficult" teenager, overcome alienation and isolation? The book contains dozens of practical tips and real stories that clearly illustrate the solution of many typical situations. After each section, homework is given to work out a particular communication technique. Performing them will allow you to master practical techniques and extract them from the recesses of memory at the right moment.

To the question: "How to communicate with a child?" Gippenreiter Y.B. does not give the only correct answer. She suggests thinking, improving, empathizing, learning to think outside the box, accepting a child unconditionally and, first of all, remembering that he is a beloved, native and infinitely dear person to you.


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Alin Trodden - author of the article, editor
"Hi, I'm Alin Trodden. I write texts, read books, and look for impressions. And I'm not bad at telling you about it. I am always happy to participate in interesting projects."

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