How to punish children for disobedience: the right teaching methods

The Process of education is quite complicated, since it must happen daily, and its success depends on the consistency, reliability and focus in adults. But no matter how the parents tried since birth to explain the rules and norms of behavior in society, still there comes a time when he violates them, then necessarily followed by punishment. Here and there adults a problem because not everyone knows how to punish a child for disobedience, correctly, that this process was effective, and the baby in the future will not do the same. This is a more serious problem than it seems at first glance.

How can you punish a child for disobedience

First and foremost you need to understand that there is a clear prohibition in the process of education, which in any case can not break – physical punishment is unacceptable! Regardless of what did your child apply a force to it in any case impossible. Even if children are too stubborn, all their actions make intentionally, with no arrangements do not work, you still need to find other ways of punishment, need to find those words or actions that can affect a child's behavior. It is better to learn a special literature, which will tell you how to punish children for disobedience.

To Prevent wrong actions and the actions of the child need immediately after you observe them. Before the punishment need to be absolutely sure that the specific bad act committed by your child, and your actions will be legitimate, because otherwise the punishment will have the opposite effect. And then you will be thinking about how to punish children for disobedience, all the time.

Always whether to punish children for misbehavior

Sometimes parents confuse deliberate the vagaries of the whims by reason of sickness, hunger or thirst, and very often, kids behave after an illness, as they sense weakness. It may be expressed in the following way: during lunch they want to sleep, and just NAP feeling energized. In this case, to punish the child it is impossible, because the mode change is unintended. So first you need to find out what they're doing, before you punish children for disobedience. Komorowski says: you need to explain to the kids that their whims only upset parents.

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At what age can you punish a child?

Psychologists say that punishment of the child under the age of two and a half years does not constitute any sense. The child is not aware that he did a bad thing, but be thinking that the parents had suddenly stopped loving him, because I forbid you to play in regular games that he played. Yes, the child understands that the toy is broken or a wall is stained, but he does not understand that you can not do that and not feel guilty for him, therefore, parents are advised not to punish the child until this age. No need to think about how to punish children for disobedience, it is only necessary each time to explain to the child the consequences of his behavior, for example, that the plate might break if you throw it, the toy can break and play with her child will not be able to.

In this age of effective example. Parents can show what actions are to please the loved ones and which disappoint them.

Only when you reach the age of 2.5-3 years the child gradually begins to self-manage their behavior and actions. But this does not mean that you should immediately go to town and to punish the kid. And in the age to do it correctly. First and foremost, you need to calm down. In any case, not to shout. Try to tell the kid the reason why he is wrong, strictly, but quietly. After a year the child is already able to distinguish good deeds from bad. In that case, if you are right he was punished, he will be afraid of your anger, and he will be around to admit it. That's why you need to know how to punish children for disobedience.

Remember also about the feature three-year-olds to go against their parents not because they want to annoy you, but because you start to feel your independence and trying to show it.

How to discipline a three year old child

The choice of punishment the child at this age, consider the fact how much you owned my emotions in the moment, can you listen to your baby, can enough to give him time to parse the situation.

At the age of three the child begins actively interested in the surrounding world. If earlier it was enough just to feel something, but now this interest is more global, and the main question is “Why?”. He is still not able to understand why it is impossible to draw pencil on wall or pull the cat's tail.

Rules punishment of children aged 6 to 10 years

At this age children already understand and know what is good and what is bad. However, under certain circumstances the child may wantto rebel, as if claiming their rights. Ways to punish the child for 8 years for disobedience should be the same as for younger children, but there are also new principles:

1. Before you punish the child for disobedience (9 years – this is the age when punishment should be), you need to make sure there are no witnesses because their presence would humiliate the child, which will lead to more persistence.
2. You can Not compare the child with other children, the result will not be good behavior, a lack of confidence in themselves and their abilities.
3. The child must be certain responsibilities in school and at home, however, they should not be punished, for example, you cannot punish him with cleaning or lessons.
4. Line of conduct you should always keep to the end, for example, if you decided not to talk baby, you need to maintain this behavior for as long as the child does not understand what he is guilty, otherwise he'll think you're always going to make concessions, and from misdemeanors to delete will fail.
5. Do Not use particle “not”, try to explain what you need to do, and not to prevent, for example, “you can Not eat with unwashed hands,” it is better to replace the phrase “Before eating should wash their hands”. So the child will understand that he did not forbid to do anything, and say, how best to proceed.
6. You need to be Punished, even for minor offenses. Remember that if, after small disturbances, the child will remain unpunished, they each time will be bigger and bigger, and stop dreaming of will not happen.

General rules penalties

There are certain rules of punishment, the observance of which will help to achieve the desired effect and not to spoil relations with the child. They do not depend on the age of the baby.

The First rule is that tearing anger on the child cannot. Regardless of the offense, the punishment should be calm and balanced action. The only way it will have enough power. Failure of any malice, the punishment becomes unjust, the child will feel it. Such punishment, he does not consider serious, just scared of your scream, you may cry, but be sure that you are not right, and hence their behavior will not change.

The Punishment should fit the act. It should not be too soft or too serious. For this you need to analyse the situation carefully, besides it is recommended to consider many factors, for example, repeated punishment for the same offense should be more severe previous. If the child understood her guilt, sincerely repents, the punishment may be conditional.

In that case, if a child involved in multiple family members, they must adhere to the only opinions about punishment. For example, if punishing dad and mom constantly wishes the child will understand that you will always be able to escape punishment. Therefore, before the parents to confer and come to a consensus.

Punishment is a way to show to the child the consequences of his bad deeds. It should not be aimed at intimidating the kid, he needs to realize that you can't do it. Sometimes you don't need to constantly think about how to punish the child for disobedience (10 years – upon reaching this age a person can clearly understand the causal relationships, and hence the punishment will be effective), but better to find out the reasons of such behavior.

What happens if children are not punished?

Many modern parents believe that a happy childhood of the child is due to lack of punishment. They live in the hope that the child will outgrow their bad behavior, with age will understand. This was an American pediatrician B. Spock. He believed that children require respect, recognition of physical needs, and considered the punishment of violence on the psyche. With the child, so the responsibility was completely removed. However, this method of education leads to the fact that parents go on about their own child. Yes, the baby was so calm to live now in a world where all responsible mother, but as they get older, such a child is far more difficult to adapt in society.

The Main purpose of punishment

The Proper punishment allows the child to form an idea about the boundaries of what is permitted, to avoid selfish, disrespect others, and will also help your child learn to organize themselves. The lack of punishment will lead to the fact that parents within a certain time will just accumulate irritation, negative emotions that sooner or later will result in punishment. It is likely that this will be the force that will be a tragedy.

If the child is not punished, he will not feel concern about themselves, because it is likely to assume that parents don't care what he's doing. Indulgence of the parents does not change behavior, but only to conflicts. Therefore, in a child's life have to be certain rules, restrictions and prohibitions.

If the punishment is too much

Equally, the lack of punishment and excessivequantity does not lead to the desired result. In the family where the child is punished too often, there are two ways of personality development. Either he grows intimidated, anxious, dependent, he does not understand what to do, and what not. Or the child may not comply with the rules, to rebel, resulting in antisocial behavior. Both the first and the second option is an example of a person with psychological trauma. A child who is often punished, hardly able parents to find the approach that will be difficult with the acceptance of responsibility, self-esteem, realization of themselves as individuals.