How to learn to be silent. How to learn to be silent - the psychology of this phenomenon

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2018-03-26 08:23:14

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Everyone knows that silence-gold, and it really has a special significance in the life of any person. To remain silent at the right moment sometimes turns out to be much rather than to say any words. In everyday situations it is desirable to be able to determine not only when it is better not to say anything, but when you do not want to be and speak. But the main thing – to be able to remain silent when you really need it. How do you do it? How to learn to keep quiet?

To silence

better shut up

Silence is necessary due to the situation. Very often there are circumstances when it is better to be silent than to speak. You should control your speech and avoid hasty words when addressing serious issues related to personal life, in business conversations, when communicating with strangers or children. People – a rational being and must remain so in most episodes, otherwise the consequences can be extremely unpleasant. Silence has a number of advantages. It is capable of:

  • Create a space for thought;
  • Free from idle chatter and bustle;
  • Sharpen the sensitivity to his inner and outer worlds;
  • To ensure awareness and comprehension of actions;
  • To give the opportunity to fully absorb information from the outside.

Manifestations of silence in everyday life

In our life, silence has a special niche. There are a number of situations where there is no question about how to learn to be silent because this is not necessary. Silence is a natural and mandatory in the following cases:

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  1. Rituals – special events or people deserve to observe a minute of silence.
  2. Obligations – a peculiar variant of monastic asceticism, which is considered worthy of special respect – a vow of silence.
  3. Right – the wording “you have the right to remain silent” implies the availability of time for deliberate speech.
  4. Mystery – the ability to hide something and don't give out other people's secrets is always highly valued in any person.

Communication in society

how to learn to be silent psychology

Man – creating social and no communication in this society he can not do. So to speak, and to speak is a natural psychological need. With this comes a new understanding of the situation, relieve nervous tension, relief from mental state. However, you should always see if you need the supposed dialogue at all. Whether your information or your question is useless? Maybe say to yourself: ‘Better to be silent”. Always in dialogue should know who and what we can say. It is not necessary to turn communication into an empty and useless waste of words. When speaking you want to focus on the source. Someone you can share almost anything, such as a psychologist or a close person who is able to understand you. But with most people it is better to restrict the scheme:

  • Ask question – to obtain information;
  • To make a suggestion, request or requirement-to obtain consent or refusal;
  • To Express a doubt, complaint, opinion – to get an explanation.

The Silence in the family

be silent like a fish

Family relationships – a highly complicated and delicate matter, and it is absolutely ambiguous. The silence in the family is not welcome, on the contrary, for the understanding you need to be able to talk, because of the omissions may occur serious quarrels, misunderstandings and conflicts. But sometimes there are situations when it should be silent as a fish. This is especially true for those cases when the dominant is not a mind, emotions, and negative attitude towards his own half is expressed in the form of angry epithets and it subsequently brings. How to learn to be silent when you want to Express everything that had accumulated in the shower? Very often it is required to collect in a fist all available will. Later, of course, you will be able more adequately to think and to Express their grievances, finding the right words.

Silence at work

how to learn to be silent at work

A Man who knows how to be silent will always be appreciated at work more than that who can't keep his mouth shut. Because it would presume a that the employee is able to listen to the interlocutor, to show him attention and to keep confidential any information obtained. How to learn to keep quiet at work? Ways to maintain silence in the workplace the identical General methods of finding inner balance and self-control. As in all other cases, in any society, silence – this is a manifestation of dignity. In other cases – the ability to avoid confrontation of opinions in debate, the ability to step back from a situation when it is reasonable. However, you should always remember that continued silence might also be assessed negatively. Look for a middle ground. the

Basic methods to maintain silence

How to learn to be silent? Psychology-the science that was one of the first to develop this problem and seek solutions that can help the most people. In order to learn how to keep silent at the right momentuse the following techniques:

  1. Self-Esteem. If you notice the inability to control his speech and can't help from not to speak, that gives you a lot of inconvenience, we must first understand yourself. Why is this happening? Continuous chatter can signal as shattered nervous system, stress, depression and other more serious psychological problems. Naturally, it is best to discuss this with a psychologist. It will help you to remove the internal stress, and the situation will improve. However, not every person will seek medical attention. Most people think that able to cope with this problem. You can try to understand yourself, but it will be much more difficult.
  2. Meditation. Immersing herself in the reflection. There are many relaxation techniques, stop thinking, achieve inner emptiness, which can best hear your inner voice, the personality, and sometimes comprehended very important truths.better to remain silent than to speak
  3. Alone. In order to learn how to be silent, a time to move away from society and be alone with him. This will provide an excellent opportunity to listen and hear. It is well to listen not only to music, how much of nature: birds singing, the murmur of water. Try to assess the environmental situation of the whole world and understand their place in it.

Methods to remain silent in critical situations

how to learn to be silent

How to learn to be silent in such situations, when emotions are in full swing and no opportunity to sit down and meditate or be alone, and words are torn out, and you are absolutely sure, then they will have to regret?

  1. Breath. When a critical situation arises in which emotions prevail and want to speak out, and to do this I can help many breathing exercises. Is really deep breath and a long exhale. Enough to breathe a few minutes. Brain perenosyatsya oxygen, and physical condition changes.
  2. Water. To remain silent, you can occupy your mouth with another case – to drink water or something to eat, as he ate it well and without being distracted by extraneous stimuli.
  3. Exercise. If possible, a good way of distraction from unnecessary words may serve as physical activity. All that is most difficult for you: squats, push-UPS, press. In other cases, an unpleasant conversation you can just run in the truest sense of the word.
  4. Pain. Pain can distract you from almost everything. So physiologically, the way our body works that when there is pain he is distracted exclusively on them, everything else loses its importance. You can just pinch himself. But modern psychologists have come up with a more interesting method: usual elastic band for ligation of banknotes is worn on the wrist, and in emergency situations is drawn and released. In this case, by pulling the rubber bands to different lengths to adjust the amount of pain. By the way, this method currently is widely spread and allows to avoid unnecessary words in a particular situation, but to prevent this in the future because the body produces reflex: 've said too much – I got a pain.

When to speak

To Socrates, a man came and asked:

- do you know what your friend says about you?

Socrates said:

- Before you tell me this news, to ask his words through the 3 sieves. First – a truth. Are you sure your information is true?

Is the rumor.

- the Second sieve-sieve kindness. Deliver this news to me good and pleasant?

- no.

And the third sieve-the sieve of usefulness. Whether this message is useful for me?

Hardly.

- Now judge for yourself: you want to tell me the news, in which there is neither good nor truth, and everything else, it is useless. Why did it say?

Hence the conclusion: before something to say, is always to think of what it need to do.


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Alin Trodden - author of the article, editor
"Hi, I'm Alin Trodden. I write texts, read books, and look for impressions. And I'm not bad at telling you about it. I am always happy to participate in interesting projects."

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