Everyone has relatives, but not everyone knows that several stages of kinship are assumed. It is also interesting that in addition to the usual names of kinship relations, there are also old names, some of which have received a different meaning in modern life.
The modern scheme of kinship ties is often limited only to the relationship of the first and second stages, but we simply forget about the status of other close and familiar people. For example, the same young woman can be given four different statuses, depending on who exactly assigns this status: son, daughter, daughter-in-law, daughter-in-law. And not everyone knows about the name of the son's wife. It would seem that if the conversation is on the phone, your interlocutor, hearing such different names, will think that there are different women on the other end of the wire, but in practice she is one.
Who are called daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law, as well as daughter and son? The daughter-in-law is considered to be the spouse of the son in relation to the father-in-law (this is how the young woman calls her husband's father). Sonoha is an old name, they used to say son's wife. Such a concept has been preserved, perhaps, only in those families that honor the Old Russian traditions. The daughter-in-law in Russia was called the son's wife only by the father-in-law, that is, the husband's father. Currently, the traditions have been changed, and she is called a daughter-in-law and father-in-law, that is, both parents of her husband. The daughter-in-law is the son's wife in relation to his mother.
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If you follow old customs, then the son's wife could be called his mother and father in different ways, the father had the right to call the young daughter-in-law, and the mother to call the daughter-in-law. In the age of computer technology, the woman who has entered into a legal marriage with a man becomes for all his numerous relatives just a daughter-in-law. Both sisters and brothers of a man have the right to call a man's lawful wife by this name. She will also have such a status for all the husbands of her sisters, as well as the wives of her husband's brothers.
In families where they try to maintain warm relations, in which there is deep respect, mutual understanding, sincere care, love, the parents of the spouse are not supposed to divide younger women into their own daughters and those who married their sons, that is, outsiders from the point of view of the direct relationship of the girls.
That is why in such families, such appeals as "daughter, daughter" to the son's wife are often heard from the mother-in-law. In the family, for a daughter-in-law or daughter-in-law, the role of the true keeper of the family hearth is assumed. This woman not only gives birth, brings up a child (children), but also must maintain kinship relations with other representatives of her spouse's family. It is the daughter-in-law who is considered the link in establishing relations between her relatives and her husband's relatives. A difficult task is assigned to the daughter-in-law, not all young women cope with it, but it's not for nothing that they say that a wife is a neck, and a husband is a head. If the wife wants, she will always find ways to improve relations between relatives, creating a real family hearth, will cultivate family relations, bring up her children in such traditions.
It is important how the new family member will be accepted by the direct relatives of the young one (of course, it is important how the father of the son's wife and his mother will influence the relationship, but in Russia it was accepted that the daughter-in-law lived in her husband's house, so the degree of influence on the relationship of her parents is somewhat less). During the formation of a young family, everyone should be tactful in their relations with the spouse of a brother or son, while the daughter-in-law remains to be patient, be friendly, show respect for her husband's mother and father. If the mother-in-law "accepts" the daughter-in-law, dreams of her son being truly happy in marriage, she will try to share her life experience with the new relative, will accept her as her own daughter. In the traditions of Ancient Russia, there was a transfer of all knowledge, experience of household management, the wisdom of female family happiness from the mother of her son to her daughter-in-law. A newly-made wife should understand that all the advice that her husband's mother gives her is a desire to protect the young from many mistakes, and not a banal interference in their personal life.
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DE: https://tostpost.com/de/haus-und-familie/40358-wie-hei-t-die-frau-des-sohnes.html
Alin Trodden - author of the article, editor
"Hi, I'm Alin Trodden. I write texts, read books, and look for impressions. And I'm not bad at telling you about it. I am always happy to participate in interesting projects."
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