Jokes about manicures from nail artists


2018-03-17 19:25:31




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Every profession – its subtleties. Slang professionals incomprehensible to the layman, and is based on this part of the professional jokes. The service sector – it's a special joke: those who deal with people who become psychologists and philosophers. And customers, in turn, joking with the masters. Take, for example, jokes about manicures.

Jokes are divided into three categories: humor artists, about humor and humor customers.

Humor masters

For a long time of working in the salon every manicure have accumulated a lot of funny cases. But there is something common that unites them: the holiday price for the services. It requires some explanation. The fact that a good master is recorded beforehand. And before big holidays (New year, March 8, September 1) better to do it in a month. But are the naive clients who come without an appointment and asked to find time for them. On this occasion the master composed a humorous list price (in rubles).

  1. Stand over the soul – 450.
  2. A shoulder to Cry on - 500.
  3. To give advice to master – 550.
  4. To Help the master – 300 RUB./min.
  5. Choice of design for more than 10 minutes – 100 RUB/min.
  6. Bargain – 1000.
  7. The question of the cost of materials – 800.
  8. The utterance of the phrase: “why so expensive?” - 2000.
  9. The utterance of the phrase: “how long?” - 2000.
  10. Do it yourself – 5000 (nothing personal, office rent, the cost of materials and compensation for spent time and nerves of the wizard).
  11. The Arrival with the company (under the company is a friend, husband, children, animals) – 10000.
  12. Parish of beer (vodka, champagne, vodka) and a cry: “happy New year!” - 15000.
  13. Delay – 100 RUB/min.
Quickly, cheaply and qualitatively

While studying master buy training the fingers, hands, tips. It is necessary for the extraction calculations of the material. Then these items can be seen in the most unexpected places: a finger used as a hook for tips, mysteriously appearing from the wall. And the hand with nice manicure peeking out of the box under the table. The children customers are very unhappy.


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How to become a “favorite” a client

Each master has problematic clients. Were invented for them the following memo:

  1. To start ask about slag (glace) and gel manicure.
  2. Continue the conversation in the style of: “DAP-DAP? Che so long? What is there to do?”.
  3. Sign up for early morning, not come on the record and call again in half an hour. Transfer visit for lunch the wizard, repeat the manipulation and transfer visit for the evening. And then everything is simple – don't take it.
  4. Come in intoxicated.
  5. Come ill. Inform about the disease when calculated by the master ("You have there a good after I sterilize, I have hepatitis A").
  6. Put the phone on the table and use it free hand.
  7. Leave the phone in my purse and when it rings – ask the master to get it and hold it to your ear.
  8. Remove the gel Polish folk ways and spread the information about its dangers.

Among jokes about manicure is a fun comic, as a husband scolds his wife for artificial nails. She plunges her fingers in his hair, twisting – SRIC-Shrek – makes the massage, asking: “What did you say, dear?”. And he, numb with massage, says: “for heaven's Sake, don't stop”.

Jokes about manicure

Often the work takes longer than expected. The first reaction of the children left behind. They begin to call. The second can not stand her husband – he is coming. Since space in the little office, he offered to sit in the pedicure chair. Calling him gynecological, he is at the door. For this reason penned song, “I brought my wife for a manicure” and pictures with the skeleton waiting at the door of a nail parlour.

The masters do not share this criticism. They wittily respond: "to Rush manicure – it's like trying to speed up boot of your computer. There are many operations that are hidden from your understanding".

Nail master can be heard saying:

  • Been there, done that, because without the top.
  • The Hole jacket will not spoil.
  • Be a lot of work, the order will receive a Hunchback.
  • Small Swarovski companies.
  • Friendship is Friendship, and always want to eat.

The Client calls to the master and asks to go to his house. The master pretends to be in mind that you have to take the UV lamp and the lamp, the ICE, a table lamp, a couple of extension cords, sanitizer and liquid for him sterilizer or suhoor, the apparatus and cutters, bag with nail files, napkins and auxiliary fluids, a box of gels, acrylics and monomer, a box of gels and a box of conventional varnishes… And replied: "Yes, of course. Now the truck call."

Cool pillar

In the nail-masters need serious knowledge about chemistry of polymers. Therefore, it is similar to Hermione that mixes drugs to get the potion.

And here is how they speak about their work:

Love Without love
Professional Art Craft
Unprofessional Hobby Trash

Every true nail master – philosopher and artist. Sometimes – psychologist. But always with love for people and their business.

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Alin Trodden - author of the article, editor
"Hi, I'm Alin Trodden. I write texts, read books, and look for impressions. And I'm not bad at telling you about it. I am always happy to participate in interesting projects."

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